Europeana - 9200397_BibliographicResource_3000126282214 Jousting from BL Harley 4431, f. 150 | Christine de Pizan (index Christine de Pisan)

 

It’s Friday and after a week of hard work you need some decent tips for how to dress up for that cool ebook party tomorrow. You want something original, something new, something to impress your friends.

So why not read some knightly fashion tips and dress like a knight in shining armor? Fashion always returns to it’s roots and I feel it’s time for some medieval madness.

Drawing from centuries of Europeana here are some disturbing medieval fashion trends that will shake up the dullest party in town.

 

 

knight from "Nooks and Corners of Shropshire ... With map and ... illustrations by the author"Number 1. Hipster Knight
Whoever said hipsters can’t be knights? Well, they can! Just make sure your beard is a perfect match with your armor. That is key. Otherwise Fashion Police Knight will challenge you for a duel. And don’t forget to feed the lion.

 

Grotesque knight from BL Royal 2 B VII, f. 148

Number 2. Snail Slaying Flying Lionbutt Monster Knight
You love animals. That’s not strange. You are half man, half animal. Here comes flying lionbutt monster knight. Watch out that the color of your wings matches with the rest of your monstrosity and take along some snails to the party so you have some bad guys to pick a fight with.

 

Europeana - 9200397_BibliographicResource_3000126282270 Knights jousting from BL Harley 4205, f. 19v

Number 3. Binge Drinking Knight
Let’s face it, there is one huge drawback to being a dancing party knight and that’s drinking your beer or cocktail while your helmet is still on. Most helmets are kind of impractical when you need a couple of drinks to get into the mood. Fortunately there’s a solution. Binge Drinking Knight has a specially constructed helmet that makes it real easy to get drunk. Just empty your glass into the helmets’ funnel and have fun. It couldn’t be easier.

 

Europeana - 9200397_BibliographicResource_3000126267426 Hybrids and a knight from BL Royal 20 C VI, f. 4v

Number 4. Faceless Knight
The Dark Vader among knights is of course Faceless Knight. If your party is of the scary kind, this is the outfit that will really freak out people. Expect to go home alone though. Faceless Knight is quite confrontational and let’s face it, who wants to kiss a faceless knight? You need at least a pair of lips for some proper kissing.

 

Europeana - 9200397_BibliographicResource_3000126259351 - A knight with a drawn sword from BL Harley 3469, f. 7 | Salomon Trismosin

Number 5. Alle Menschen werden Brüder Muscles from Brussels I love the European Union Knight
If you live in the European capital Brussels and you love Beethoven and the EU, this outfit is for you! You’ll be the coolest Euro Knight on the block. No doubt about it. Just watch out that your aureola of stars doesn’t get caught in the party garlands, because your host will kick you out of the Schengen Zone for messing up the decoration.

 

Europeana - 9200397_BibliographicResource_3000126284013 - Tents and mounted knights from BL Harley 4379, f. 23v | Jean Froissart

Number 6. Stork Love is in the Air knight
You can’t help it. You love storks. And there are no knight rules against stork helmets. It’s not forbidden. And who knows, it could be a clever move. Your opponent might die laughing before he has a chance to make a move for his sword. On the other hand, storks, love, we all know what you’ll end up with. But hey, if that’s what you’re looking for, go stork!

 

Europeana - 9200262_BibliographicResource_3000058483910 Album Amicorum - Foreign Knight in Armour | Van Meer, Michael

Number 7. Hands up in the air funky disco night knight
Saturday Night Fever. Put your hands up in the air, wave ’em like you just don’t care! Disco freaks will love this funky disco night knight outfit. You’ll be the center of all attention. Just don’t let go of that heavy gold crown. You might get sued if it hits somebody in the head.

 

Europeana - 9200397_BibliographicResource_3000126313478 - Knights from BL Harley 4379, f. 99 | Jean Froissart

Number 8. Unicorn Knight
The unicorn is without doubt the coolest animal on earth. If only you could ride a unicorn instead of a horse. Horses are so ordinary! It would also save you from carrying around a heavy lance. But alas, bad knights killed off the last remaining unicorns a while ago, so you’ll have to do with this übercool unicorn helmet. When dancing don’t go headbanging though, because you might poke out an eye of your princess.

 

These knightly fashion tips were presented to you by Eboocz, the cool new distraction-free ebook authoring tool for the Mac. Check it out in the Mac App Store.